Aug 6

Aug 6 Helping Others Reach Their Full Potential

Michael Smith

Leadership, Life Planning

My Lunch Date

I am not sure why he asked me to lunch.

He was an experienced and successful business leader, and here I am, a young leader just starting my career.

Should I be nervous?

Had I done something wrong?

The day approached, and I entered the restaurant and saw him sitting across the dining room.

Taking my seat, we entered into small talk, exploring the subjects of family, friends, hobbies, and 'how is work going?"

He was asking most of the questions. I couldn't help wondering when we would get to the real reason he asked me to lunch.

As we were about to finish our meal, he started …

...oh no, here it comes.

"I guess you were wondering why I wanted to have lunch with you. Well, over the last few months..."

...oh no, here it comes.

"I have been observing you, how you approach your job, what you get accomplished, and I want you to know I see so much potential in you. Early in my career, when I was about your age, a seasoned leader took me to lunch and said the same thing, 'you have so much potential,' but he followed that up with, 'with your permission, I would like to help you recognize that potential and work with you to sharpen natural abilities in business, life, etc.'"

I was somewhat shocked. Why me? I said, 'yes, I would love for that to happen. But I was glad that the next phrase came to mind because it has helped me be the man and leader I am today.

Over the next few years, we began to meet weekly to discuss topics like how to lead people, how to navigate challenging conversations, how to balance life and work, creating a life plan, setting goals..."

We have long since stopped those weekly meetings due to relocation, but my friend is always just as close as his phone number, and I still use it.

Each time I punch in his number, and he says hello, it was as if there had been no time or space separating our talks.

However, he has added a new topic to any conversation for the last few years: 'who have you taken to lunch recently?'

If it hadn't been for that awkward lunch, I would not be the person I am today.

A Fictitious Story

That was a fictitious story, but how I wish it were true. I made so many mistakes as a young leader, especially related to interpersonal relationships and leading others.

Looking back, I wish someone had taken me to lunch, or I wished someone I worked with had come alongside me to mentor me. I wish the companies I worked for had a plan to develop young leaders, helping them navigate the workplace but also helping them become the best person they could be at home, at leisure, and at work.

For over a decade, I have acted on the question, 'who have you taken to lunch recently?' by seeking to invest in younger leaders.

One of the best examples of mentoring leaders is seen in the life of Jesus.

First, you see that Jesus taught large groups, but He communicated his mission and inspired others to lead by investing in a smaller group of twelve. Note he also took that a step further when he spent even more time with just three. I wrote about that model here: Teach - Connect - Confide.

Jesus wasn't the only example; examine the life of the Apostle Paul and his relationship with Timothy. In the letters that bear Timothy's name, you find Paul calling him' son.' There was no family bond but rather an older man investing in a young leader.

This model of taking someone to lunch doesn't have to be just personal, and it doesn't have to align around a faith/religious model. Still, it can make a significant impact inside of an organization.