Jul 27

Jul 27 Learn from Failure

There I stood on a stage with thousands of people in the audience wearing the wrong clothes and with the wrong frame of mind. I was on a collision course with failure. Two days before, I was applauded and surprised; on this day, I wanted to hide.

A few decades ago, I was a pretty good trumpet player. This led to pursuing both undergrad and graduate degrees in music. But years before that…

As I was getting serious about refining the skill of making music on the trumpet, I entered and won a few competitions. The largest one started in my local town and progressed to the region and state level. Before I knew it, I was headed to Dallas, Texas, for the national level.

After spending hours in the practice room and other venues, I was prepared, but I had no expectations of winning. I was just out to do my best.

The order of the awards ceremony was such that in each category were announced those who had received a ‘superior’ rating, and from there, a winner would be declared.

When it came time for my category, I heard my name, along with a few others, singled out as receiving a superior rating.

Well, that was a surprise.

Now it was time for the winner to be announced, ‘and the winner of this year’s competition in the solo instrument category from California, Michael Smith.

What? Really it was a surprise.

There was a lot of applause and high fives. Wait, did we do high-fives back then? The room was large, the old Dallas Convention Center, but I’m sure I heard my mom screaming from the balcony.

As I arrived on stage, I was presented with a large trophy and more applause.

When the evening event came to a close, I was told I would perform again at the last gathering of the conference, on the main stage. No problem, as I was riding on the wave of adrenaline.

At the last gathering, not only would I be performing the solo, but I would also be a part of a group performance whom I had been traveling with throughout the summer.

It was almost time for the performances, so I headed backstage to find my clothes and the group attire, but they were nowhere to be found. They were supposed to have been cleaned and ready, but somehow mine had been missed, and I finally found them in a clump on the floor.

What was I to do? The performance was in a few minutes.

I started to blame people. I visualized myself being the only one not wearing the outfit. But...

There was nothing I could do. I just had to wear what I had on.

I was on first, and the stress of proceeding minutes showed up in my performance. In front of that large crowd of a few thousand, I bombed. I knew the music, I had performed it ’superior’ just a few days earlier, but that night, I couldn’t remember where I was or where I was going.

It was a failure. There was polite applause, but no high-fives. I wanted to hide, I went to blaming the circumstances of the clothing, but...

I use this story, a true story, to help myself remember that there are a few ways to respond to failure that don’t spawn growth.